I don’t know what to say.
So there’s that. But is that really that terrible of a thing. I spent the entire day watching a T.V. Show. I got drunk on a Sunday night. And before that a Friday. And before that a Thursday. This is not who I am. I am falling apart and I can’t figure out why. I do not know what it is that has got me acting like a total – well, to use a word from How I met your Mother – a floozy. I’m acting like a total floozy. I’m not exactly contributing to anything and am not exactly making progress on anything either. and I tell myself even while I am feeling this way, that I’m just going to finish this season and a half of HIMYM before I even think about starting to be productive anyway. WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME I SAY?!?! Hey, at least I’m not doing that secret thing I’m not even going to blog about anymore? It’s something I’ve been wishing I wasn’t doing for a while now and since I promised Mme. R. I wouldn’t do it anymore (last Wednesday or maybe Friday) I haven’t. Even though I’ve wanted to. I find that it is much easier to stick to a resolution when you are following that resolution for somebody else rather than yourself. So far anyway. That combined with remembering that what I was doing essentially tore our relationship to shreds. Also, I don’t ever want to leave Oregon. More on that later?